Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?

Having had a very old tale of mankind's creation astutely asserting a woman coming from a man’s rib passed on to many generations until it examines our comprehension ability today, entails two interpretations:

That a woman complements a man. And that a woman is seen as a weaker vessel.

What a woman can do in a man’s life is best described by an American actor and singer, Groucho Marx, when he said:

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

Stories of men who find their wives complementary to their lives call to mind a classic song of Bryan Adam’s Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman:

“To really love a woman

to understand her

you’ve got to know what’s deep inside

hear every thought see every dream

and give her wings when she wants to fly"

A woman decides not by impulses, but with after careful discernment. In every decision she makes, there are emotions invested. A woman nourishes. A woman nurtures. That’s why her understanding is beyond a man’s.

“You've got to give her some faith

hold her tight

a little tenderness

you’ve gotta treat her right

she will be there for you

taking good care of you”

That’s why our planet earth has a gender [Mother Nature]; because a woman’s love resembles that of the nature’s: unselfish.

She puts the interests of her loved ones ahead of her own.

When a woman’s emotions are hurt, she may shudder with pain. Nonetheless, the same excruciating pain becomes her motivating factor. She will falter many times, yes. But she will never abnegate in fighting what she feels she deserves. In what she believes are her rights.

That’s why names of typhoons, cyclones, and hurricanes are feminine. Because a woman can storm out anytime to fight for her family, friends, society, and the principles she dearly believes in.

Morbidly however, most men today see a woman as a weaker vessel from an unpleasant perspective. A woman’s natural compassion has been used against her.

Rampant worldwide are millions of deaths of women who asserted for equality of rights. More millions of women are burned with acid simply because of exercising their right to make a decision.

Horrible accounts of women who, because of ridiculous culture and religious beliefs have been castrated, tortured, prostituted, discriminated, and deprived of their much-deserved life persist even up to the present, a time when advances in technology are on the peak and which are thought to ameliorate a woman’s conditions.

Or at least liberate the minds of more men.

Thousands of terrifying news about physical, psycho-mental, emotional, and sexual violations against women and little girls moved many writers to pen stories about a woman’s afflictions from across the borders, motivated many lyricists to compose songs about a woman and her worth, and inspired thousands of artists to adapt into films the life’s journey of women.

These also send governments and their politicians to enact laws intent on protecting women and mitigating the abuses hurled against them. Ironically, some religious institutions and governments were behind the massive killings of women and their children as what the pages of world history tell us and they are among the culprits aimed to govern by the said enactment.

Sadly, most men fail to understand what Bryan Adam’s song would like to convey:

“To really love a woman

to let her hold you

till you know how she needs to be touched

you’ve gotta breathe her

and really taste her

until you can feel her in your blood”

A woman is vulnerable, especially to love. But the analogy of her being a weaker vessel does not mean she is inferior. Having been created out of a man’s rib does not afford men the right to possess her.

When Bryan Adams sings in conclusion:

“When you love a woman

you tell her that she’s really woman

When you love a woman

you tell her that she’s the one

She needs somebody”

The message is not really about needing a man in her life being equal to enslaving a woman and confining her to a house or a cell. Nor is it about a man earning the right to use a force, pain or intimidation against a woman to love him back. Neither is it to see her as a mere sexual object.

The essence is about women's right to respect. Their right to life. It is about women, like all men, who are as well intellectual beings endowed with equal will. A woman, therefore, is never a possession.

Perhaps, what men ought to learn is to love women like their own bodies.

So, have you ever really loved a woman?

Woman, how far have you gone?

More than 150 years ago, a protest against injustice toward women had a Declaration of Sentiments penned in America, saying, ‘the history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations on the part of man toward a woman.’

Little progress was made since then, if at all. But the United Nations’ admission on its publication The World’s Women 1995 that men and women live in different worlds with different access to education and work opportunities and in health and leisure time, encouraged many States to pass laws to protect the rights of women.

Nonetheless, laws are not capable of changing hearts, from which injustice and prejudices are rooted. While the legislation, often aimed at stopping sexual exploitation of children and women, is founded on purest intentions, it is in itself, ineffectual.

Laws, mostly inadequate, do not prevent violence. What does is when cultural and social values—usually based on deep-seated tradition—change. For instance, in Middle East, tradition dictates that women should be used by men, rather than loved. They should work than being cared.

Unless men start to change their perception, a woman will continue to have no voice, with no rights, and with little amelioration to her situation. Must I say that the Philippines is among the countries that had an awakening?

Hardly. But it is getting there. In politics, we had our first female president by the name of Corazon Aquino. The second, which is incumbent, may not be an epitome of a good leader, but had somehow produced evidence that slowly, respect for women’s rights is established.

In sports and entertainment, women are given the opportunity to lead and excel in many countries. But this does not imply that women have succeeded in their fight for women’s right as there are still more work to accomplish not only in our country but in Africa, Asia and some parts in Europe as well.

Education must start at home. Men should learn the best way to treat women from their fathers. Unless an immediate and concerted action is initiated by all, hardly can peace deign on us.

Today, I am one with Gabriela in pursuit of advancing women's right. Today, I join the celebration of International Women's Day.